Bringing Up Sophie

Can’t reveal too much as my dear little one reads this blog, but it’s been a challenge parenting her lately. She’s about the smartest person I know and also about the most stubborn.
We had a very frank discussion earlier, one in which I hope she listened hard and understands clearly what I said to her. We’re all rooting for her to make the right choices. It starts with doing her homework!
Sophie… You need to grow up and revel in how truly smart and amazing you are.. and let your schoolwork reflect this truth!

College Looms

Sarah’s first college solicitation letter arrived today. It sent shivers down my spine as I cannot imagine that in 30 months, my baby heads to college. I don’t know what we’ll do without her at home.

Studying Chinese

This week, the study of Chinese is what the kids are grappling with.
Today was Sophie’s first day in “Chinese C”. There are four tracks in the study of Chinese at SAS: Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced and Heritage”. Sophie has been finding it hard to cope in the Heritage track this year. After some reflection, discussions and meetings with her teachers and counselor, she has agreed that moving down a track may be best for her. It was good to see her happy after school today as she’s pretty relieved that there is quite a difference in the level of Chinese and more importantly, in the amount of homework! It was also comforting to hear her say she thinks she’ll ace this level. She’s handled this episode well and we hope Sophie will be much happier with her Chinese studies from here on in.
After school today, Sarah got inducted into the Chinese Honour Society. This is her last year studying Chinese as she’s doing AP Chinese. We’re proud of her achievement as a sophomore.
What is most special is to see the amount love and support the girls have for each other. Sophie happily cheered her sister on at the ceremony. It’s quite a day to be the parents of S&S!

Chaperoning TDT

It’s now Sophie who is participating in TDT (That Dance Thing). A programme where kids dine and ballroom dance. Sarah participated in the programme throughout middle school.
We chaperoned tonight. It was fun watching the interactions between the kids. The kids had a review of the waltz and cha-cha. It was a hoot watching the kids’ very awkward efforts at dancing while holding each other.
It felt like chaperoning TDT was the last thing I needed today, but it turned out to be a good thing. I am grateful that I was forced to stop thinking about work matters and simply enjoy a parenting milestone. Sophie looked so pretty. I just loved watching my baby.

we weren’t allowed  take photos of the kids : (

Winning the “War”

I got a call from one of Sophie’s teachers today. It isn’t so much the matter at hand, but the way Joe and I are approaching it that gives me comfort and surprisingly, satisfaction. In the midst of anxiety and some distress, I’m glad that we see the bigger picture. It took a while to get here. 10 years ago, I think I would have responded differently. Today, I celebrate a parenting mini-milestone: Laying down the instinct to be Tiger Mom, and choosing simply to be the Mom that my baby needs. Feels good. All I can say is poor Sarah bore the brunt of the Tiger Mom-ness! It’s to her credit that she’s weathered all our ministrations so well. It’s also to Sophie’s credit that she does not lack the ability to advocate for herself. All is well.

Lessons in Losing

Sarah lost her bid for Secretary of the Sophomore Council last week. As much as it breaks my heart whenever any of the girls have a setback, I think there was a silver lining. It was quite amusing (sorry, Sarah) to see her indignation at not even making it to the run-off, which was between a girl who sang her campaign speech by stringing lyrics and tunes from pop songs together, and a boy who told jokes for his speech. We talked about her constituency not “getting her” and vice versa, and had a good discussion about the need to always calibrate the way you present and package yourself, your message, your opinion… knowing my baby, she probably got up in front of the assembled sophomore mob and tried to rouse them with her issues-focused rhetoric. She’s the wiser for it, and I am impressed by her stoic, calm and gracious approach to accepting defeat. Sarah, you lost the election, but you’ve gained tremendous insight. Your time will come.

Not Yet, But Already…

Sarah told me it’s freezing at Brown. She’s complaining of her cheeks being frozen… and that of course sent me into a paroxysm of maternal dread and dismay! I sent back all sorts of advice, nagging and warnings, mostly along the lines of get a thicker sweater, wear socks, etc, to keep getting a cold at bay. Then I get the text response below from my little doctor wannabe. Sigh. If she ever gets the MD, she’ll be able to negate my “folksy wisdom”! Well – who cares. Moms trump MDs!

Found Her! (kinda)

I’ve been mooning about longing for intel on my firstborn. I don’t want to inundate her with emails, calls and text messages. Have to be “chill” (her word!). Finally found out the dorm she’s in: Bronson House. Have been stalking the place online. She sent me an excited text message to say they may get to work with cadavers! Eeeks! I mustered up the requisite excitement required to respond enthusiastically… but the thought of my precious baby cutting into some dead person is absolutely “faint-inducing”. What’s wrong with studying the Romantic poets? No blood, gore and guts… just beauty, grace and gallantry! What a kid.

< You do your thing, Sarah! >

Beginning at Brown

Sarah is at Brown! She’s settled into her dorm and is about to attend orientation at 3pm. She’s sent the first photo of her new digs. My Mom-in-law, Pat, and Sister-in-law, Amy, are in the photo that shows Sarah’s half of the room. Sarah says she’s met her roommate and pronounced “Natasha from Connecticut” as “nice”. The room looks a little spartan to me. I tried hard to pry a much “mothering info” from the photo as possible. They’ve delivered her fridge (check), she’s got a fan (check) … no a/c during the summer! what ridiculous abuse is this? She’s got a desk-lamp (check), bed is made (check), there’s a liner for her trash-bin (check)..now to ascertain if her blanket has been sent to her (it’s New England! One never knows!), if she has enough bottled water, and most of all, I need a photo of her roomie. I told her to procure a photo of the child asap. I need to divine from what little visual evidence I can get hold of if the kid is ok/normal/ sane … and ideally smart/groomed/calm. Sarah of course already thinks I’m a nut case, but there’s no agreement between this mother and my child that I ever need to mask my madness, at least not with her! The thin veneer of normalcy I keep in place is for the rest of the world. My poor family doesn’t get the privilege of my efforts to behave. I can tell that nervousness is setting in.. I can’t stop typing. My mom-in-law and sister-in-law are scheduled to leave at 3pm. Sarah will really be all alone, far far away for the first time NOW! Help (me)!

Safe

Sarah is safe and sound with her grandparents in Hartford. I’ve spoken with her and we’ve exchanged emails. She sounds good.

I can sleep.